Saturday, June 30, 2007
I’m writing to you
Not to tell you
That I still hate you
Just to ask you
How you feel
And how we fell apart
How this fell apart
Are you happy out there
In this great wide world
Do you think about your sons
Do you miss your little girl
When you lay your head down
How do you sleep at night
Do you even wonder if we’re alright
But we’re alright
We’re alright
It’s been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren’t you there the nights that we cried
You broke my mother’s heart
You broke your children for life
It’s not ok but we’re alright
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those are just a long lost memory of mine
I spent so many years
Learning how to survive
Now I’m writing just to let you know
I’m still alive
The days I spent
So cold, so hungry
Were full of hate
I was so angry
The scars run deep inside
This tattooed body
There’s things I’ll take
To my grave
But I’m ok
I’m ok
It’s been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren’t you there the nights that we cried
You broke my mother’s heart
You broke your children for life
It’s not ok but we’re alright
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those are just a long lost memory of mine
Now I’m writing just to let you know
I’m still alive
And I’m still alive
Sometimes I forget
Yeah, and this time
I’ll admit that I miss you
Said I miss you
heh.GC:)no this is not a song to my dad.haha.the song just kept coming up just now.
yesterday
caught tranformers with the fam yesterday.it's real awesome!megan fox is hot!haha.
i thought i saw this guy that looked like josh duhamel in the beginning and it was actually him!haha.i didnt know he'll act in transformers.
JOSH DUHAMEL!transformers.Shia Labeouf and Megan Fox!
now i wanna watch die hard 4.0,harry potter and disturbia next!Shia Labeouf from transformers is acting in disturbia too!
please fix this broken screen, showing our future with blue skys up abovetodaywent for service in the morning and we had our mini photo taking session for some particulars thingy.rushed home to change and all for tonight's dinner so couldnt go with myrna,BK,YH and the rest for lunch and all.
Rushed down to jayne's church and i didnt even have time for lunch so lunch was just a pathetic apple which was a mistake cause i was wayy hungry by the time her service ended.
Went down to novena and met rachel.we bought jayne flowers:)before going for her service.jayne came out to meet us where we were seated so we passed the flowers to her earlier though later in the service we realized maybe we should have waited till after it.haha.
Rushed down for the gramma's birthday dinner after service:)
anyway,thank you lem for the rocky road flown back all the way back from aussie!haha.i like the marshmallow bits!haha.
to the few:
thank you for always being there,through my lowest and most broken point,through the smiles and tears,and standing by me.thank you for accepting me for who i am despite my shortcomings,even when i'm acting lesser than i should be.thank you for listening to all the rantings and nonsense ramblings i do at times.
to one,thank you for always caring:)emoing together has both its good and bad eh.you gotta cheer up too dear and you know i'll always be here:)
to another,thank you for all the sweet stuff you always do and the song,it cheers me up at times:)
thank you for all the talks,hugs,messages,letters,sweet surprises,care and love.i'm sorry if i havent been a good enough friend but i know i really thank god for great friends like these,for placing these blessings into my life:)LOVES.Who am I
That You would know me from the start
Set me apart
Who am I
That You would place eternity
Into my heart
One life, I lay at Your altar
One love, I have with You
Touch me again
Fill me as You hold
My outstretched hands
One word, You know I will follow
One heart, broken to You
Use me again
Your mercies follow me
For all my days
perfect prom queen ;
Thursday, June 28, 2007
A photo can say a thousand things
But it can't say the million things I wanna say
A photo can capture the way we were
But it can't capture the way we are
'Cause you're far away
What it's like to know you
What it's like to touch you
When you told me that you loved me
were those just words
You can't tell me you don't need me
and I know that hurts
'Cause I'm looking at your picture
'Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day
You and me will have one more shot
Timing lost minutes and moments
And I might be lonely girl
But I'm not afraid
In a second
It all comes right back to me
Nothing's forgotten now
Yeah everything's saved
What it's like to touch you
What it's like to know you
When you told me that you loved me
were those just words
You can't tell me you don't need me
and I know that hurts
'Cause I'm looking at your picture
'Cause it's all I've got
Maybe one day
You and me will have one more shot
You were my life
you were my faith
You gave me hope every day
dont ask me why but photo kept running through my head the whole day.how gay.
first week back to school and the bed calls out to me to sleep in every morning!and i reallyreally want to,but i can't.gahh.
school's been a pain,sitting through every lesson,trying hard not to fall asleep,not to let your mind run away to other stuff,trying to act like you're listening when you're zoning out.gahh.
yesterday
went out for lunch with Bernice and Jayne.SUBWAY!ages since i had subway!J rushed off for ballet and we sat there stoning and i was so tempted to look for dessert to eat but in the end,we went to fcuk instead.the sale is damn good if you can find nice stuff,real worth it.haha.we bought cute pouches and B got her skirt,i wanted this satin skirt but it was still too ex in the end:(
Rushed down for tuition and got driven nuts by math again.
today
went out with lis for waffles at Venezia:)like FINALLY after all the talk over the months.haha.venezia waffles are nice!i prefer them to gelare!i feel like a glutton again,i had two servings of gelato today,one at 7-11 and another at venezia.gosh.i eat so much!haha.
WAFFLES!
found this off postsecret,
now we know.haha.
even though i want to tell you everything but
i know i can't.
if i could be the chains
i'd fall from you and let you fly like an angel
if i could be the pain
i'd run from you, so far away
if i could turn the time back just one day
it might just be enough to say
all the things i've never said to you
perfect prom queen ;
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
hello emokid,stop trying to influence me with your emo songs!even though some fo them are nice.haha.
Complete and total adoration, My gift to you, my heart was yours,
In ten weeks you shaped it, In one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest and laid at your feet, That first step you took was the worst.
Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,
And I still have these memories,But we'll never see what we could have been.
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember, cause that's all you can do.
We'll never make another memory, We'll never make another memory.
I wish I'd have died in your arms the last time we were together, So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real, You said they were,What happened?
You were a priority, Was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart, I'm sorry that it wasn't enough.
So, we'll go our own ways, And hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess I've learned from it.
But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes? I don't consider this a mistake,I just wish the story didn't end this way,
Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
perfect prom queen ;
Sunday, June 24, 2007
We should get jerseys cause we make a great team
But yours would look better than mine, cause you're outta my league
And I know that it's so cliche to tell you that everyday
I spend with you is the new best day of my life
Everyone watching us just turns away with disgust
It's Jealousy, they can see that we've got it going on
And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
You're ok with the way this is going to be
This is going to be thing we've ever seen
If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I musta done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I musta done something right
I musta done something right
Maybe I'm just lucky cause it's hard to believe
Believe that somebody like you'd end up with someone like me
And I know that it's so cliche to talk about you this way
But I'll push all my inhibitions aside
It's so very obvious to everyone watching us
That we have got something real good going on
And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know you're more to me than what I know how to say
YOu're ok with the way this is going to be
This is going to be thing we've ever seen
If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I musta done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I musta done something right
I musta done something right
cute song and it's sweet!haha.
the hols are ending so soon!it just seems to go by in a flash.but with school reopening,it feels like the pace is slowing down,a break.the holidays felt more hectic and rushed like one thing kept coming up after another.squeezing everything you want to do into the two pathetic weeks!the holidays were rushed and tiring but satisfying:)
last week was crazily packed but fun:)and sad with the couz leaving:(and i think i put on so much weight from all the food!all those dinners!where did the flat tummy go to?
wed
woke up early in the morning and rushed down to tuition.
After that,walked to holland V from buona V,i still cant believe i walked the whole way there but within walkable distance la.haha.met lala for lunch and we went to thai express:)THAI FOOD!i had my phat thai!
sat there chattering non-stop and eating.
walked around holland V talking and to digest all the food before going to NYDC for dessert-COOKIE MONSTER MUDPIE:)
it was real good!
sat around longer and talked longer.such a girl thing!haha.left for town to catch a train home and i was so tempted to borrow grey's anatomy season 1 to watch but i reckoned i had no time over the next few days to do a dvd marathon:(
thursdayfailed attempt at going out to study/chiong finish holiday homework after waking up late.haha.
met up with mich,myrna,sally and sandra for dinner.we had thai express.second day in a row for me!i had the pineapple rice instead.and i didnt know the tom yum soup there was the clear type,so unlike the usual chilli red ones!
sat there talking for a long while before rushing down to MS before it closes for sally and mich to get their stuff.and i saw the gorgeous bebe top!i love the print!jayne has the halter one!
fridayclass outing day.woke up early to go to Bernice's house and i saw her new tigers.they're nice.haha.
rushed down to meet ruth,bused and trained down to harbourfront to meet the rest.
went to sentosa and we played volleyball and we actually had a game going for quite a while,not like last time,anyhow play.haha.we had frisbee too and i got dunked and it wasn't fun,i was the first girl in.nehneh.just because i'm easy to carry eh.
all of us trained down to meet the rest of the class for class dinner at marina south.we ate so much till we were bursting!the crabs and prawns were good!and worth it for the price we paid.
lem was the official prawn-peeler of the night!haha.he peeled all the prawns available for us,finee.i ate alot but the prawns were nice,so no more dirtying of hands and he has a unique way of peeling it!haha.
all sweaty and shiny from the barbeque!
rushed down to mich's farewell party though i was like the latest there!it was a barbeque and i couldnt stomach anymore barbequed food,not after marina south!
saturdayspent the whole afternoon on OLP.gahh.bio!got my tigers:)
sent michelle off in the night at the airport.ohman.i so gonna miss you cousin!i'll go aussie to visit and stay in your apartment!come back soon!love you.
See your pretty face in the sunshine
In the morning after staying up all night I
Want to wake you just to hear you
Tell me it's alright
And all I want to be is too much
Sometimes for me
Good morning baby
I hope I'm gonna make it through another day
See the stars and all the planets
Fly the great wide world and have it all
Yeah better get a ticket better get in line
I'm praying now for beautiful weather
Take a car and drive forever but I'm
Only ever sitting at the traffic light
And all the world to see is too much
Sometimes for me
Good morning baby
I hope I'm gonna make it through another day
perfect prom queen ;
Monday, June 18, 2007
You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.
And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.
And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
Cause you're my everything.
thank you B for sending the awesom-est song over like FINALLY.haha.
out studying with bernice and outing with the partner:)
i love going out with SC girls,we usually have a knack for being late yet always reaching around the same time so it's like not being late at all.haha.so you wont feel so guilty when you're later than a friend,making them wait for so long.haha.went out with olivia and we went to la mian xiaolongbao for lunch,it was like my second lunch and i had la mian and xiaolongbao.like duh.haha.i still prefer dintaifung's xiaolongbao!just sat there talking and talking,taking random photos and coincidentally,she has the same camera as me!she was complaining to me how lousy her moto red was but the colour's nice!we went to NUM and i like the NUM party tank but it's freaking ex!gahh.
have you seen the new n76?
it's DAMN NICE!
steven gerrard was one of the four england guys that got hitched to their WAGs(B?haha.)over the weekend.
one of my fave football couple
Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright
I give you everything that I am
I'm handing over everything that I've got
Cos I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till four in the morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down, it's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is you got to give me everything
& nothing less cos you know I give you all of me
perfect prom queen ;
Thursday, June 14, 2007
woke up at one today.haha.it was a real good long rest.
went out with stephy yesterday.cam came along too.met up with liz,huimin and aries while waiting for her since they were at bugis and supposed to be studying!but in actual fact,they were all so dead tired.haha.
went to haji lane and arab street.got more charms:)i got my grey skinnies too:)yesterday's shopping made charmaine a happy girl!haha.
went to pluck to hang out and eat more.haha.
had their hot fudge sundae and the waffle though what i really wanted to eat was mudpie but they ran out of it:( but the fudge bits were really nice.haha.
cabbed down to stephy's house for dinner and we were so tired from all the walking around that we conked out the whole way back on the cab.
had dinner and we were all talking bout italy since they only went there recently.we were talking bout gypsies too and stephy's scared of the old ones.haha.ate dessert-hagen das straight out from the tub.havent done this in a long time.haha.sent cam down to get a cab,did up our charms and talked before heading home.
pictures
liz!
liz,huimin,aries!aries teo!have fun at the sec four farewell though it's sucha damn sad thing and play your best for the concert:)
bestie and haji lane love
There's a boat, I could sail away
There's the sky, I could catch a plane
There's a train, there's the tracks
I could leave and I could choose to not come back
Oh never come back
There you are, giving up the fight
Here I am begging you to try
Talk to me, let me in
But you just put your wall back up again
Oh when's it gonna end
How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far
There's a chance I could change my mind
But I won't, not till you decide
What you want, what you need
Do you even care if I stay or leave
Oh, what's it gonna be
How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far
Out of this chair, or just across the room
Halfway down the block or halfway to the moon
How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say
YeahI'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far
perfect prom queen ;
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
When you are sitting next to me
Will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have
rushed for tuition and we were late.OOPS.haha.
rushed down to meet bernice at the airport since she was there like eons ago.went to pacific coffee to do work and managed to finish some stuff.haha.we were like talking so much and convos were like okay read finish the passage then a few minutes later,we'll start talking again then read finish the passage then the cycle just continues.haha.but we DID do our work!
i eat so much,i ate like a brownie and then i decided i wanted something savoury so i got another wrap.all this in just a short span of 2-3 hours!and i came home to dinner too.all the food and FATS.hahah.
it's days like these that i thank god for the friends he has given me:)LOVES.
i want to be your favourite hello and your hardest goodbye
i FINALLY did up B's MOSIAC.
here's introducing my spastic/camera loving/a-pak-ment loving/loves tiger poses/fellow camwhore/hang out at airport/charkwayteow loving friend!
here's your mosiac that i owe you/the one you wanted!i know you love me!i love you back too!haha.thank you for today dear!
pictures from today
we were doing work and BROWNIE EATING:)
And you are my fading photograph. And ripped memory.
And your burning memoirs rest here. You know they wrestle with me.
You are the noise in here I cannot sleep without.
Constant reminders everywhere in between
You are the way out of here. The grace that I have found
Constant reminders everywhere in between
perfect prom queen ;
Monday, June 11, 2007
i'm back from camp.and put on weight from all the pastas and pizzas in italy,good food in camp and all the late night suppers lately.but weirdly only my mum thinks i've put on weight,everyone else thinks i've lost weight,how to lose with that mountain of food and junk food eating i do everyday?!
CAMP GILGAL
missed the first day of camp as you can tell from the previous post so i didnt have to give up my lovely bed for another day.haha.
woke up early to get to camp and i reached there damn early while they were out for morning exercise.we had morning and afternoon worship sessions and games in the afternoon which got us all wet.NO SENTOSA THIS YEAR:(i was hoping for another sentosa day with night worship.
the meals at camp were real good this year and i kept eating so much.we had strawberry cheesecake for our supper,courtesy of joy's bday and karen:)
we got really good accomodation this time,we were the lucky few that got the apartments upstairs while the others got dorms.we had tv,sofas,nice toilet and aircon.haha.we were lounging around the sofas every day eating chips and winegums,talking crap and camwhoring.haha.
the bed was not bad and it was fun talking and reminiscing of days back in TC and barnabas in the night.
i guess the most touching bit bout camp this time was the revelation of the cross on my first night when we were watching the clip from passion again.it just hit me hard this time,like never before,how much He has given up for us,how he took everything upon Himself,how much He loves us.
pictures from camp all courtesy of deb since i didnt bring my cam
ohh you know how i has to miss the ANBERLIN and copeland concert cause i was away in italy,CAROL got to attend it!!ohman and they had a private showcase the day after for those who had ticket stubs:( sigh and i had to MISS BOTH!yes,for once,i wish i wasnt smelling the drainwaters fo venice and be back in singapore!
carol,we gotta go together the next time they come to town and bring your cities album and send me photos!
anyone has an extra anberlin tee?wanna sell it to me?
i got nm hooked onto
when the stars go blue! it's damn nice!too bad,yours is the not as nice version,the tyler hilton and bethany joy lenz one is BETTER!haha.anyway,have fun in china and hong kong!buy back laopobing!ohman i feel like going back to hk again,all the good food,shopping and laopobing!
partner soo!you still owe me a picnic date!get well soon from the allergy dear so you'll be fine to come and meet me:)LOVES.pictures from italy!i managed to cut the 734 pictures to 251 pictures to put up!that's like cutting by more than 50% of it!all that inverting and rotating's driving me nuts!imagine if i did all 734!INSANE!
okay i had to take off the link cause someone didnt want it up here so ask me for the link if you want the photos!
decided to use back old imagestation cause facebook was being wonky.
okay i'm too tired from all the pictures uploading i'll update bout italy another time.it'll take loads of time typing everything out maybe i'll type little by little each day.haha.
Will I wake to find you waiting by my bedside?
Will I wake to find you waiting by my side?
perfect prom queen ;
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
I'M BACK FROM ITALY!i missed all of you lovelies:)and i missed you too liz,i see my shoutout!haha.weirdly,i look so tan there.i want my tan back!
off to church camp today and i havent started packing yet!gahh.i hope it'll be a fulfilling and fun time,a time to just take things slow and really draw close to Him and learn new things.
sometimes i run away from reality.
or maybe we run away from reality.
cause reality just hurts too much but i know i gotta face it despite how much it hurts.and i'm already trying to do that as best as i can.
i wanna go and hibernate.gahh.
okay updates and pictures on italy after i get back from camp gilgal!update from camp too!
to you:though i dont even know if you'll be reading this but i'm sorry for acting like an emo ass yesterday.it's just that i couldnt tell you everything,i didnt wanna add on to whatever burden you have,and i didnt wanna crap up something in place of it and lie to you.i'm sorry.if you really wanna know the answer to the questions,the answer for the yes and no question is yes,as for the others,i'm sorry,i cant say it out.i'm sorry.
i'll slip a smile into your pocket
if only i could
*edit
okay.going into camp tomorrow instead.
anyway,a few italy photos before the official post!and i have like 734 pictures!i didnt know i had that many,i thought only 200 odd.
pictures
GELATOGELATO!
our version of the eye-B's eye!haha.
i love sepia and black and white photos.i want more of them and more for my wall too!i want a holga and i can have manymany pretty black and white holga photos!
perfect prom queen ;
